Mommy Proof #43: One voice must become many... 

We had a bullying problem  in Pickens, SC. Had. There is a story behind that problem that came to a tragic end. Because of bullying, Brandon's life was cut tragically short on November 14th. We have a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. HAVE. I'm positive  that young Brandon was not the only child bullied at that school. We have a bullying problem in this country. So what happens now? A few days after her son committed suicide, his mother spoke out! She wants their voices to be heard! So I will lend my voice to hers.

We have a bullying problem in Union, SC. I know for a fact that I may become like Brandon's mother. Grieving a childhood that has been cut short, not by my child's own hands, but by my child's voice being ignored. By other children seeing a problem, commenting on an issue and still being ignored. By parents speaking out and seeking help, only to be told that person's age is too young to prosecute or a person's position gives them the right to be a bully. Everyone knows, but no one speaks loud enough to be heard. Everyone nods and believes it is true, but no one stands up for the victims. If one person speaks out, it can be swept under the rug. If everyone speaks out, a change must occur. Maybe if one person speaks loud enough, it cannot be ignored. WE HAVE A BULLYING PROBLEM IN UNION, SC.

On August 28th, my child was verbally assaulted. You can imagine my surprise when I asked how the kids' day went and was met with a question by my 8 year old. What was the question? "Mommy, what's a dick?" A dick! My third grader asked me what was a d*ck and what did it mean to "suck" it. As a parent, what would you have done? I did what most parents would have done, called the school, spoke to the principal, followed up with a visit to the teacher. I made it clear that this was unacceptable and something had to be done. I was assured that it would be handled. I was also positive that it would be a serious concern for the principal. Surely, the head of a school would be outraged that ANY child would have to deal with such vile sayings from another child!

On September 3rd, her teacher wrote me to say, "{Your child} was upset when she came back from PE today. When I asked her she said she didn't like talking about it. Maybe you can find out and let me know. Thanks." 

The week of Sept 23rd, I went to my daughter's classroom to meet the long term substitute. I also wanted to inform her of the problem with {bully}. She assured me she would keep an eye on it.

The week of Sept 30th, my child is bullied by the same student yet again. I speak to the principal. She promises me to keep him away from my daughter. I ask to switch her class. I'm told that she will handle it and it won't be a problem. That there was no need to switch her class. I believe that is the week the principal sat in the class to "observe."

On October 13th, my child is bullied and the principal states, "She is unsure what he {the bully} has against her." 

On October 16th, I came to the school to have lunch with my third grader. A few students told me that the {bully} was messing with my child. I told him to stay away from her. It isn't nice to say nasty words to others. While I am at the lunch table, the kids begin to tell me how the {bully} bullies them. I also witnessed it at the table. I later went and talked to the principal. She promised that he won't have lunch or recess with the other children. That she will "keep him with her." I was also told that he has "made great strides." That he has admitted that he "doesn't know why he is mean to my daughter." The principal keeps asking him "if he wants friends" and how he can't make friends by calling them names and hitting them. In the meantime, he was cursing my child out and calling her names on a regular basis. 

On October 22nd, my little girl complains about her hair being pulled and the bully calling her names. I go in and talk to the principal. The teacher has seen nothing. My daughter has been called, "Dumbo, stupid, gay, and an ugly boy. I was also told by  my child that she has asked to go to the guidance counselor repeatedly. She was told that she couldn't go. i speak to the teacher. She is "unaware" that there is an issue. As I walk from the class, another child asks me if I am there  "because {bully} won't leave my child  alone." 

On October 29th, my child said that the bully hurt her arm.

On October 30th, I confronted the principal and told her that the child is getting worse. It is now physical abuse. She tells me that she would handle it. I told her it should have been shut down the moment he sexually harassed her. She told me not to worry. It would be handled. The principal asks if we would like to put my daughter in another class. I asked why my child would be moved when she isn't the issue. There were at least two other children that switched classes, because of that child. My child begs for us not to send her to school. She doesn't want to be bullied. 

She misses school October 31st because she didn't want to go to school and be bullied once again.

On November 3rd, my husband and I go into talk to the principal. As we wait for the teacher to join us, she begins to share with us personal information about the bully's life. I inform her that he is the "least of my concern. If you want to sing his praises, call his mother. I am here for my child." We are told that they probably like each other. That my daughter is a pretty girl. That she should "give him a chance." My daughter said she doesn't always tell, because a lot of the time nothing is done. My child is told by the principal, "If you don't tell the teacher, you better not go home and tell your mommy." 


On November 4th, I write a letter to the superintendent about my concerns on how the principal has handled the bullying problem.

On November 5th, There is a physical altercation between the two of them. After speaking to my daughter and two other kids, it is determined that he hit her first.

On November 6th, I'm called into the office about the fight supposedly. The first thing out of the principal's mouth is that she just found out that my daughter CURSES at school. (I later found out that my daughter and another student repeated some names that ANOTHER child said to them. I informed her that wasn't acceptable.) Nothing about the altercation between my child and her bully. The principal never heard the cursing. It is called a "lover's quarrel." My daughter is a huge part of the problem when before she wasn't sure why the bully wouldn't leave her alone. Even after all of the physical abuse that has been endured by my daughter, she is told that she will be suspended if SHE hits HIM back. Later as we talked she told me some of the things that the principal told her and how she made her cry. She told me that the principal made her tell her story in front of the bully. That is against protocol. You never have them in the same room to share what happened.

I went into share my experiences with the Superintendent on November 10th. When we get to the school, we speak with the guidance counselor, principal, superintendent, and the teacher.  The other child's mother is in the office. They are moving him to another class. He has been bullied because of his "baby voice and he sucks his thumb." The principal says that she wasn't aware that there was a bullying problem between him and my child. When I stated that several children were aware of this child bullying my child, the principal stated, "Well, they are 8 years old." My response? " Exactly discredit them at the source." If we have adults in charge that are ignoring the pleas for help from students based off of their ages, then who is really in charge? If the bullies go on without the fear of consequences, what is the deterrence for the bad actions? A couple of days after my child was attacked by the bully, then by the adult in charge, the principal punished several students for bullying. But not the child that assaulted my child....so where do we go from here? 

I asked the school district for the notes from that meeting that prompted me to make this video. That was over a week ago and I still haven't received them. Just as my child was ignored, so am I. The difference is, I'm not a child. I have a voice that doesn't have to be ignored. We have parents that have dealt with the same situation that our family has been forced to endure. Silenced. Swept under the rug. The problem rages on. My fear is if we, as parents, do not stand up for a change, which one of our children is going to be the next Brandon? Or will Union, SC be famous for something other than Susan Smith killing her young boys? A former employee of the Union County School District was quoted as saying, "It's not a matter of IF there will be a school shooting. It is a matter of WHEN." I do not know a parent that wants to countdown to another school shooting.  Your child may not be the child being bullied, but bullets have no name assigned to them. I do not a mother that wants to bury her child as a result of something that could have been prevented.

I have a letter in my possession from the previous guidance counselor at this school. She talks about how the teachers were bullied with the thought of losing their employment if they spoke out and stood up against the principal. We have a huge issue in Union about bullying. It is only a matter of time before one of these students takes their life or the lives of others. Brandon's mother couldn't save her own child, but she is brave enough to speak out and help save others. But one voice only makes so much noise, we need that one voice to become many.  We need to join Brandon's mother in fighting the bullying that occurs in our schools. We need his childhood to be the last one cut short! One voice is hard to hear and take seriously, with one voice nothing will change. If no one stands for bullying in our schools, everything will change! We have a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. We have a bullying problem in Union, SC. We have a bullying problem in South Carolina. We have a bullying problem in the USA. Now, what are we going to do about it? #bullyingstopsatthetop