Friday, November 15, 2013

OUR VERY FIRST DADDY PROOF!

Mommy Daddy Proof #36: If you make a mistake, make it right. Make it better. Make it a lesson.

Our children's school hosts a Family week. A small chunk of time is set aside in the morning, so that children can begin their day with a smile. This week, I missed it. I felt horrible. The next day was Doughnuts for Dad. Our second grader begged my husband to come to her Doughnuts for Dad.

My husband was finally home on a weekday that would allow him to go for Doughnuts for Dads. Although it would take some rearranging of his schedule and possibly a penalty from his place of employment for the short notice, my husband called into work and told them he would be a little late. The kids were overjoyed. They woke up and didn't expect to see their dad there. He usually leaves before they wake up.

The kids left for school as happy as can be. My foursome were off to enjoy the morning, but, later that morning, I received a phone call that I didn't expect. Something bothered my husband as he left the school that day. It weighed heavily on his mind. I asked him how the morning went and he told me fine. He didn't realize that this event was also for our older child and he forgot to sign her in, but she spoke up in her true older daughter fashion. Our second oldest child was happy and had a great time. Then, my husband told me what was really bothering him.

He dropped our son off in the classroom the way he would normally do in the morning. As he walked our second grader to her classroom, she urged him to go back and get her brother. "Let him come to my class, Dad!" My husband responded, "No, he has to go to his class and we go to yours." As he passed back by his classroom, he threw his hand up to wave. Our son briefly looked excited. Then he realized that he had to stay in the classroom and his face saddened. That bothered my husband and he called to talk to me about it. As he rambled on about 5K's Doughnuts for Dad, I felt my heart drop and tears came to my eyes....

See, there was not going to be a 5K's Doughnuts for Dad. That isn't how it works. Although some activities are separated according to grades, that was not one of them. Our son missed breakfast with his dad. He missed out on his first Doughnuts for Dad. What made it worse is that he realized it and my husband realized it too late. My heart was breaking for the both of them. I kept on imagining my son sitting in that classroom dejected and hurt. I wasn't there to hold him and comfort him. I'm also not positive I could have made it better at that point.

We spoke about ways to make it up to him and then got off the phone. Around 15 minutes later, I received another phone call. It was my husband and he wasn't in the company truck. He was in his own and he was on his way to get our son out of school. He had only been at work for two hours, but he just kept on picturing that look on our son's face. He couldn't concentrate. It made him physically ill with the thought of it.  He explained to me that this could make or break his relationship with our son and he couldn't get to him soon enough.

He walked into the school and explained what happened. He went and got our baby who still had that same look on his face. He apologized and explained the mistake he made. He took him out to lunch and to spend the day with him. Everywhere they went people would inquire about why our son was out of school. Everywhere they went, my husband would explain the mistake he made...but he did much more than that. In the words of our son, "Every time I blinked, I thought I'd burst into tears. But then my dad came back!" So, that is the lesson learned. We live at a time when we have to spend time away from our children, so we should strive to make every moment with them count. If we make a mistake in one of those moments, make it right. Make it better. This concludes our first Daddy Proof. Good job, Daddy!

When we talked to our six year old about how he felt, he used his hands. "He heart 'broked' me, Mom."
"...But then my dad came back for me!"




(I'd like to also thank our son's teachers. They tried to soothe his broken heart.)