Mommy Proof #32: To potty train, you must be all "in."

After reading Six Rs to Potty Training, one of the mommies has an "independent diva" that she is having a rough time potty training.  I'm hoping these pointers will help! Some people do not agree, but I feel potty training can be a play of "control" with some toddlers. Ever heard of a child urinating on the floor in defiance? My first child was almost 3 before she was potty trained and it was my husband that took the lead. Here are the things that I learned with her.

You have to be all "in": inclusion, intuition, intrigue, incentives, enthusiasm.

1. Inclusion means the state of being included. Potty training is an odd concept. "You want me to do what? In where?" It sounds absolutely ridiculous. From birth, they have been doing what is natural to them. To go when they had to and now we want them to learn something totally new. Also, everyone has to be included. It can be done in a long weekend. Meaning for some children, that ground work has been laid. Once it is laid, everyone has to fall in line. Speak to them, "Little one, starting tomorrow we need to use the potty all of the time!"

2. Intuition is necessary because they are learning something that she hasn't done before. I take my newly potty trained child every 15-20 minutes or so while giving them plenty to drink. Watermelon is a great snack if she likes it. ;-) I don't ask if they need to go. I tell the child it is time to use the potty now. Coax them with phrases so they know what you want them to do. This is where the potty training doll can be very helpful. Drink goes in here, Peepee comes out there! A phrase that helped with all of mine is, "Peepee come out!"
My second child held her urine until she was literally about to burst. The kid didn't want it to run down her legs and she didn't want to clean the floor. She couldn't even stand up straight. I sat her down on the potty and told the "peepee" to come out. I asked her where her tummy was hurting, which was at the top of her bladder and pressed ever so slightly. The flood gates opened and she learned the muscle that is needed to control it. We sometimes have to "show" them how to go.

3. Interest will make even the most headstrong kid come running to see what you are doing. I have used some interesting methods to get a child excited about using the potty. If you are comfortable, drink something, feign your "OH, MY! I have to go" action, and go running to the bathroom telling her to follow. Yes, I have done this. I also cheered for myself when I went. Sang the song as I washed my hands. Maybe, clapped for myself when I finished. :-/ BUT IT WORKED! The doll can serve the same purpose, without the Academy Award performance. I was that good, really nailed that role. Let her feed the baby and take her to the potty. It will click.

4. Incentives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snacks, stickers, stamps on the hand, dancing, praising, and singing. But my greatest incentive of all was starting with all white panties. There are two reasons: THEY ARE BORING! THEY ARE EASY TO BLEACH!  Once she has been dry for a week straight, you bring out the big kid undies. The colorful ones, maybe with characters, flowers, etc. They worked every time. 

5: My last tip is ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!!!!!! The same way you would teach letters, numbers, and colors be enthusiastic. Would you want to learn something boring? Enough said!

Unofficial tip #6: Don't put a camera in the face of a toddler who is on the potty. You may or may not end up with urine on your foot. :'-(

Mommy Proof #31: Take a picture. It lasts longer.

Fewer moments in life are more exciting than bringing home a new baby. Oh, the smell of their newness will intoxicate a person making them unfit to make long term decisions. How many of us has left a new mother's house with nostalgia surrounding us in a cloud of memories? The thing about memories are that they are rarely as simple as we'd like to remember. So here are five reminders when welcoming a new baby home.

In your memory, having a newborn feels like this...

In reality....Need I say more?

1. They say newborns eat, sleep,and poop. That is a lie they tell you to fool you into having more children. Be prepared for your newborn to sleep beautifully in the hospital. The minute you bring them home they will engage you into a battle of wills. They will battle you until one of you passes out. They will win.

2. If you bring home a boy, be prepared for them to mark their territory. Everything is their territory. Your bed, their changing table, your couch....your face.

3. Newborns are cute and cuddly when they want to be. When they get hungry and/or wet, they turn into raging beasts. Remember to always keep them dry and clean. Remember that this is impossible.  Because as soon as you change a diaper, they eat. Then as soon as you feed them, they soil or wet themselves. You are failing at life.

4. Sleep when the baby sleeps! Keep in mind that the baby only sleeps at times that you need to be up and busy. Don't expect to make dinner if you are sleeping. If you have an older child......Well, sleep with your eyes open.

5. Enjoy it! A year from the day you bring your newborn home, you will be remembering how small they were and how fast they grew. Let their be dirty dishes in the sink. Keep up with laundry as you can. Photograph that first smile. Newborns are only new for a short period of time. Hold your newborn the way your friends with older children do. Drink in their essence. You can do it!


A special note to a special mommy: I hope you have an uneventful, quick, painless labor. :-/ Okay, well the painless part won't happen, but you will be just fine. I know you will continue to be as awesome a mother as your mother was to you. Now get to pushing!