How Do I Do It?

Mommy Proof #18: How do you do it all? I don't.

Recently, a mommy asked me how did I do it all with four children under the age of nine. I fold laundry while they unfold. I dust while it piles up. I do the dishes while someone reads at my feet or holds on to my legs. I start dinner while a child plays with the toy kitchen set and another skips through the room. I cook dinner while the baby plays at my feet. I assign chores that they can easily accomplish. I mop the floor...when they spill something! I could have told her those things, but, instead, I laughed.

I laughed, because I don't do it all. I do enough to get us through the day. I do enough to make sure the kids are fed a well balanced meal. I do enough to make sure they have clean clothes....I didn't say they would be folded and put away. I do enough to make sure they have help on their homework. I do enough to make sure I have hugged them all that day. I do enough to make sure they have all received an extra cuddle. I do enough to make sure the baby could nurse when he needed it, be it for nutrition, to drift off for a nap, or for comfort. I do enough to make sure they could tell me about their day. I do enough to make sure that they saw that I cared,  that I noticed, that I heard them. I do enough to make sure they felt loved.

As I grew up, I don't remember how well my parents did the dishes. I don't remember how efficiently my mother folded the laundry. My fondest moments of my childhood were the hugs they gave. I remember the guidance I received. I remember how I was comforted when I was afraid. I remember the love I felt. So for that mommy that asked me how do I do it? I just do my best. I'm sure you will do the same.










Because it cannot be ignored and will never be forgotten, my heartfelt condolences to the parents, students, family,  faculty, first responders, safety officials, and Newtown, Connecticut community.

Disinfect your screen now...

Mommy Proof #17: Tis the season for ye old sick kids....Cough-a, cough-a, cough, and sneeze, sneeze, sneeze!

Since the beginning of October, we have had these illnesses: Sinus infections (3 to be exact), colds, (3 that turned into sinus infections), stomach virus (1! It didn't turn into three more, SCORE!), flu like symptoms (2), bronchitis (1), ear infections (1...2, if you count that it was a double), and fevers (2 104 degree temperatures, 3 low grade temperatures). If you did a math equation, it would not be pretty. If I don't see another snotty nose or cough-interrupted sleep, I wouldn't mind. I am tired. Someone or every one was sick for every week in the last two months. Someone was teething. Someone else was coughing. Someone else was irritable.

However, we made it through the worst of the ordeal with the help of immunizations, vitamins, antibacterial gel, and disinfectant. We ended November intact and healthy, until the worst possible thing happened.....I got sick. I'm not talking about the sniffles or a little cough. I am talking about every single virus, disease, and germ that I affectionately nursed the children  through. The only problem is there is no one there to nurse me. I have to get my own tissues and administer my own medicine. I warm my own tea and heating pads.

I am sick. Does anyone hear my cries? Does anyone care about my needs? Who is going to make my soup? Where is my mommy? As I lay in my bed wallowing in self-pity, my three oldest children came to cuddle with me and ask me repeatedly if I was still sick, still tried, or feeling better. (The baby came in with them, but it ended less of a cuddle session and more of a nursing extravaganza.) They brought me bottles of water and argued with each other which I have had decided was for my entertainment. I raised my head from my pillow to be presented with breakfast in bed. My husband also brought me lunch and dinner. He went grocery shopping. He rubbed my back and asked me what I needed. They took care of me, because they love me as I love them.


I still want my mommy.

Tag! You're It!

Mommy Proof #16: Live every day like your child is a VIP.

Work. Working out. Appointments. Schedules. Deadlines. Projects. Homework. Work from home. School. Classes. Extracurricular activities. Shopping. Girl's Night. Running errands. Phone calls. Smart phones. Computers. Technology. Social Networking. Text messaging. Facebook. Guilty as charged. We are busy. We have things to do. We have places to go.

I took note as my children played in the yard one day. I watched them run and play with each other as they forgot everything else. Their chores could wait. Dinner would still be warm later. I smiled as my oldest daughter scooped my youngest child up and jogged across the lawn so he could at least pretend to maintain the speed of his older siblings. They ran. They played. They laughed. They pouted when I called them in to wash up for dinner. They had fun. Pure, unadulterated fun.

I, then, made their plates...while talking on the phone with my husband who was five minutes from home. I served their plates...while I laughed at a text I had just received. I sat down at the table as I thought about ideas for my next blog. I looked up from my phone and realized I had missed the first 10 minutes of dinner. I don't know what they were chatting about. I have no idea what was making them giggle. I missed out on a possible memory. I thought back to a half an hour ago as I stood on the porch and watched them play tag. One of them was it and they ran from person to person with joy. They were focused...on fun....on each other...on the moment. I smiled at them as I came back from putting my phone in the other room. For the next 10 or more years, I reminded myself that these moments will soon be gone. Tag! They are IT!

If I had been preoccupied with something else, I would have missed this memory.

During dinner, I missed two phone calls all from a good friend who called to ask what I was doing...